Home Sweet Children's Home

I've come to the point where I grow anxious when I'm away from these kids or the home.

Time is going too fast. It's a strange cycle- the days feel so long, but it's going by too quickly.
and every time I see an unfamiliar face, my heart grows urgent to try to get to know as many children as I can. It seems as if everything in this home is a paradox. Children are opening up to me, but at the same time, I'm only getting to know the first floor. (There are 3 floors that have children of different ages and gender).
I think my biggest fear in coming to this home to take part of this ministry was to burn out.. and even worse, to show that I'm burnt out. I'm surrounded by dorm moms and administrators that are running on fumes- some aren't even believers, and it seems to be another reason on why there is only discouragement and hurt in this home. These children do not know how to speak life; they don't understand that words can kill the soul.
During my time here, I refuse to sink. I only want to be a source of joy and comfort to these children, and it's amazing to see that as long as I stay faithful, He's filling my tank everyday.
He never fails to give me strength- just enough for the day.

The days consisted of:
waking up around 6:30-7, breakfast, then I go downstairs to my little babies. heh
around 8:30, we walk the children to school and kiss them goodbye.
Jimmy, Charlie, and I do QTs for about an hour-hour/a half, and then relax.
We cook our own lunch everyday! because it's not provided. HAHA but it's a good time to fellowship and bond :)
then we relax a little more and around 4- we teach Jee-min and Geun-young.
then we watch the little babies until dinner.
after dinner, we teach a group of elementary boys.
then we teach another group of elementary girls.
then around 9- WE'RE DONE FOR THE DAY! not really.
but we get to hang out with the others and relax.

This schedule started ... today. HAHA
and it went well. These kids have the attention span of a goldfish... and they have no motivation to learn- maybe it's because they think they're incapable or they lack the drive that is usually taught from parents, but we've been praying for a yearning to learn. for them to know that they are MORE than capable of learning and retaining knowledge.
it's a process, but i know they'll see it in them somehow..someday. (that's a prayer request within itself)

This is Jae-Hoon. He's the disabled child from my past post- his smile makes me melt. :') He's happy even though he can't walk, sit up on his own, talk, or basically do anything independently. He always reminds me to be joyful for the little things- as cliche as that may sound- he finds joy in taking a bite of food, or having one of the other kids carry him, or even just giving him a smile- he never fails to smile back. I just know that God's heart burns for Jae-Hoon, and that His hands will always be over his life. So precious.

This is So-Yeon. She's the older sister of this kid:

You know it! Jee-Hool!! :) the aggressive child that I love so much.. HAHAH (he took my glasses- i told him to stop- he put them on- i told him his eyes will hurt- and he closed them right away) HAHA 

So-Yeon is just as aggressive. but speaking and acting in love makes such a clear difference in these kid's lives. 

This is Hee-Yeon. She is an answer to my prayers. SHE approached me first!! HAHAHAH I'm so stinkin' selfish. She is affectionate, kind, and has a cool husky voice. She told me her dad passed away when she was in 5th grade. I told her my story. After that, she only seemed to be more comfortable to me. She comes to my room every morning to keep me company before she leaves for school ( I walk her!). 

The baby boy is Ho-Yeon. He's the youngest one in the home- only 9 months old. He. is. thee. cutest. kid. ever. ALL HE DOES IS SMILE. I always ask "WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?" He always lifts his arms out for me to carry him. :) ahhhhhhh. I love him so much. He rarely cries too. I like dat. I wish I could adopt him...heh..

Look at Charlie (from Australia) holding hands with Seung-Hyuk.. hehe Jimmy and Charlie are like fathers to these kids... it's beautiful but heartbreaking at the same time. but I can clearly see that God is using them so mightily in the home. amazing

This is Moo-Bee. (cutest name ever) it took her a while to open up to me, but now she's all hugs and love. :) Such a sweetie. 

So much joy in this picture heh

There are three kids on me. It was hard. but I love em.

Hyun-Jung and Eun-chong. both needy and they cry a lot...but they're too cute and precious to stay frustrated with..

Please keep these children, myself, and Jimmy and Charlie in your prayers.

Jimmy, Charlie, and I are finally sharing our testimonies this week. Jimmy went today, and it was amazing. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! DEEP RELATIONSHIPS! God answers prayers. 

Soli Deo Gloria

Such a faithful Father.

The shallow ends...

It has almost been a week since I've been here at the MyeongJin Home.
It's been a tough but amazing first week- and there is just so much to take in each day. I can see the children opening up to me each day, and I truly thank God for that.
I can honestly say- that it's tough. It's not easy- Jimmy, Charlie, and I get worked to the bones- but at the same time, it's such an honor to see how God moves in this children's home.
For the past few days, we've been doing nonstop admin work- (definitely not a gift of mine- nor do I have the patience for it) because there is going to be an annual inspection tomorrow (Thursday).

what is this you ask? this is our pride and joy.... HAHA no, it's a year's worth of the home's spendings- on paper. -_- This place just loves to do everything oldschool- we had to holepunch each page, bind them together with string, (i know.. WHAT?) and then make a cover for it.... i thought only hipsters do it the non mainstream way (a binder or at least an organized file cabinet) but nope. MyeongJin loves to keep it...original... but no complaining! it was honestly easier to do tedious tasks throughout the day than waiting around doing nothing until the kids get back from school. it's a blessing to serve- always.

I've also been cleaning a lot. If you guys know me well enough, I'm almost obsessive over clutter. I just... what. can't. 

Anyway.

I've strategically started to get to know the younger children first. I started in room 104- the babies-elementary room. All of them are so precious..goodness. I want to give them the world. The love that pours out from me can only be from God- because it's so easy to not love these kids. The babies give attitude, lack basic morals, hit you, and can be really....dirty..HAHA but they're so pure, so in need of love and affection, that I've been learning to see them through the heart of the Father. He loves them so much- His heart is for them and only His love can make a difference. 

This is Jee-Hool. When I first met him, he just constantly screamed at me to "GET OUT! " or "NO! GO AWAY!" He is also extremely aggressive, that one of the other kids had to move to a different room. He constantly bit and hit him. He's hit me a couple times too haha- but I have such a heart for him.. because at one point of my life- I was extremely aggressive too- and it was because I felt that I lacked the love that I wanted so badly and needed from my own dad. Aggression was an outlet for me, and it's clear that it's an outlet for him too. I've been interceding for him whenever I see him hit someone or throw a fit. 

Now, whenever I see him and call his name- he gives me a HUGE, warm, irresistible smile. :') It's only been 5 days and he is already opening up to me. He sits on my lap all the time, and he asks me to pick him up :) hehehehe AHHHHH i love him so much. 

+Please continue to pray that he sees God's love for him through me. Pray that he will be raised up not into a violent man, but into a man that is full of compassion and kindness. 

Speaking of the kid Jee-Hool kept biting and hitting;

This is Eun-Chong. He's such a sweetie- but always cried when I first met him and tried to carry or talk to him. HAHAHA But now, he runs to me and smiles when he sees me :) (he's even playing footsiez with me... ) So thankful and blessed. He's definitely loved here at MyeongJin. 

+Pray that he grows up to love the Lord. 

Here are some other pictures to show what we've been doing:

This picture was actually taken the first day we moved in- we took a group of boys to an arcade!

This is Jimmy from Virginia!! With a precious and affectionate girl named Geun-Young. She's. so. friggin. cute. 

The boys took us to a field so we can all play soccer :) 

This picture was from last night! Iran VS. Korea.... disappointing loss... but good bonding time with the boys! 

This is Ji-Min. And he's one of the few kids that actually know my name.. hahaha so precious. We only see him every once in a while, but he loves to "help out" with our admin work :)

As a reward for our hard admin work, the gwajangneem gave us the keys to the music room. We had a jam sesh- Artha, if you're reading this (probably not), this is my time to practice guitar!!! hahahaha...sike..barely...

+Please continue to pray for Jimmy, Charlie, and me! We are definitely bonding- but it's still taking time... maybe because they're guys and I'm the only girl? But they don't really open up.. HAHAHA but I love our QT times together in the morning. We pray together, read the Word together, and encourage one another. It's the QT times that keep me going. 

I'll end in this precious picture:

We have one disabled child in this home. His mother was an alcoholic, so he is extremely skinny, underdeveloped, and fraile. He's four years old, but he's the size of a 2 year old. It breaks my heart every time I see him, but I know he is loved here. He ALWAYS smiling. It's so beautiful because everyone in this room takes care of him. This is Hyun-Jung feeding him yogurt :) She's only 2! But she's taking care of her oppah! This picture makes me smile for so many reasons. 

Love these kids. Love them so much. I pray for more times of ministering, and for God to simply reveal His love for them through me, Jimmy, and Charlie. 

+Please continue to pray for boldness. We need boldness and patience. Boldness to speak to the children and to get to know them and patience for His perfect timing. 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul. 

He is so faithful, so loving. 

Thank You. 

The start of something...

For months now- I've been preparing to be where I am- right here, right now.  Currently, I'm sitting in a room of the children's home I'm going to be staying at for the next two months.

Basic logistics:
+Name of Children's Home: 명진들꽃사랑마을
+Number of Children: about 90
+City: Cheonho

 It was my first day here, and I have never felt so tired, sweaty, gross, dirty, overwhelmed, and anxious in my life.  I've never stepped so far out of my comfort zone- where I have to initiate the conversations with basically everyone (with my basic korean skills...), put my trust in complete strangers, and be alone without a team member that I personally know back from home (as intended).  It's a new feeling- being filled quickly but being poured out quickly, feeling like you know no one, but you DO know someONE (because I have two other volunteers that are going through the exact same experiences as me right now). It's only been about 12 hours since I've been here, but I've already felt as though I was going to have a meltdown- but 90% of the time- I was smiling because I only want to bring more joy upon the children.  Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I'm having so many feelings right now. HA!

Two months feel so long- but too short to build solid and intimate relationships.

I can't list every detail of today- I didn't even remember to take pictures of the children.
But here's an encounter that gave me hope today.
The jr. high/high school girls intimidate me. I've never felt such a strong sense of fear of man in me until today. They gave me glares, barely said a word to me when the house manager introduced me to them, and they were in their own worlds- worlds that showed no interest WHATSOEVER in me.  I can confidently say that I spent most of my day today thinking of what I should say to them- a conversation starter- ANYTHING. But the fear in me led me to think of nothing while the Spirit in me was yearning for SOMETHING. After meeting me once, they didn't say a word to me. I felt pathetic, overwhelmed, and discouraged and thought- "I'm never going to get to know these girls."

Yet, while I was walking up the stairs to my room, I saw two of them walk behind me.
Meeleul and....Meejin?dslfkjsdkf I forgot the other girl's name- BUT!
They said goodnight to me.
I felt so giddy inside. HAHA
They even asked me, "Are you staying in Room 301?"
I said Yes.
That was the end of our conversation. HAHAHAHA
I know what you guys are thinking- Classic Irene- so awkward and dumb for not being able to talk to them all day.
But I've been praying all day today- Lord, can You PLEASE make a way for me to say at least SOMETHING to them?
Hm. Not only did He answer that prayer- but He comforted me and gave me hope just through that 20 second conversation.

He is so faithful- so kind.

Fam, please continue to pray for:

+ me, Charlie (from Australia), and Jimmy (from Virginia)
They're basically my "team" for the next two months, and I just know we're going to be needing one another a lot. We barely know each other yet- so pray for a strong bond that will strive to encourage, build up, and love even more than we could ever imagine. We had short conversations here and there- and we get along pretty well!! :) they're awesome.

+the younger children in this home. they're energetic, beautiful, and so precious. They seek so much love, affection, and attention- which of course is understandable- but pray that they won't only seek it from the moms or the volunteers, but from the Lord Himself. pray that they'll know their worth as children of God- nothing less.

+the older children in this home. there are even college students in this home. they've grown up with scarred hearts- full of lies- feeling that they're not worthy, unlovable, not beautiful, the list goes on and on. pray for healing and restoration in their hearts.

+I've come to realize that I'm extremely shy. This characteristic does not mix well with the older kids in this home. hahahahaaha- please pray that I'll overcome my fear of man and just love. love love love and build build build strong relationships with these children. I already love them so much- I just need to show it!

Ahhhhhhhh. Jesus, I need You so much. Whom have I in heaven but You?
Thank You for all that You do.
To God be ALLLLLL the gloray,

Irene