Be-truth.

Let's be honest with yourself, Irene. 

This season has been tough, but you asked for it. 

You asked to be refined and disciplined- whatever it took. 

You asked if this is all worth it- if He's worth fighting for. 

The past couple months have consisted of:

sleepless nights- then taking multiple naps a day,

weeping on the way to and from work- then getting myself together so that I can show others that I'm okay,

forcing myself to get on my knees to pray- even when I didn't know what to say,

having my frustrated, broken thoughts leak out of me,

and really battling against the lie that God isn't fully for me.

but the past couple months have also consisted of:

God presenting His promises to me directly from His Word,

Him speaking to me- clearly and tenderly,

submitting myself to spiritual discipline,

being comforted that He still calls me deeper into His intimacy (thinking I was content with what I already had. Ha!),

me getting vulnerable with my close sisters without reservation,

learning to accept realities in the physical realm of things- because of the "Who" behind it all,

learning to trust His heart- because He is so sufficient, even until now and forevermore,

and learning that truth will trump over every single lie. 

There is a deeper level of gratitude springing up from inside of me because there are meaningful, yet simple revelations that are being solidified in my heart from this season.

Even when tears have been my food, I have learned

That my God is so for me; He knows what's best. 

I have everything in Jesus; I lack nothing. 

He loves me dearly- always fiercely pursuing after me.  

so thank You, Jesus. Thank You for being so worthy- so faithful, so kind.

and if I ever stray away from the most compelling of loves, the firmest foundation, the greatest Father,

do whatever it takes to bring me back to You. 

and it's probably going to take a lifetime- to know even just a glimpse of Your heart-

but until I see you face to face, I want to run joyfully(!) knowing that You're so worth it. 

Making it Personal

Many things have happened throughout the past few days.
It's hard to process it all, and I barely have much time left.

But there was an important incident that kind of sums up the reason why I came to this home to begin with.

I've entered the home thinking,
"I'm gonna share my testimony and the Gospel to every child, and they will be transformed before my own eyes!!"

haha. I guess I forgot about the building relationships, shepherding, and loving part.
I was talking to Jee, and she shared about her first time sharing the Gospel with one of the kids in the home. She emphasized the importance of making it personal for them- and that it's the most essential factor of telling them about God.

I've made it a personal goal to share my testimony and the Gospel with at least ONE child in the home. I also assumed that it would be one of the older girls.
I said one child in fear of disappointment as if I wouldn't be able to share my story to anyone at all.
and then God said,
"Why just one? Is that how much you think your testimony is worth?"

I answered,
"These kids already have their own stories- probably worse than mine. What could my story possibly do?"

He answered,
"Just wait."

and I waited. for the first 1 3/4 months, I didn't talk about myself, God, or anything related to the Gospel. I just got to know the kids, loved on them, and scolded them if they went away from basic morals.

I was getting anxious; Lord, I'm leaving in about 20 days. Am I making an impact?

"Just wait."

Lord, I'm leaving in 15 days. What difference am I making here?"

"A little bit more."

And on August 1, my English class girls and I had a sleepover in my room.
At around 1:00AM, we were just laying down, talking about whatever.
Somehow, the girls started to talk about their families.
I was listening, absorbing in their stories, and trying to see life in their shoes. So young, so pure, but their hearts are already scarred by the failure of worldly love from their parents.

"Now. The time is now."

"Ae-duel-ah...Do you guys believe in Jesus?"
Miran and Sungyeon said Yes in a dreaded-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-this-tone.
Soojin said, "I want to believe in Jesus."
"Do you guys REALLY believe in Jesus? Do you guys understand how much He loves you?"
"No."
I went on and shared a very basic version of my testimony- I made sure that they understood that I know a good glimpse of what they went through. That I wouldn't be here at MyeongJin if it weren't for God.
Soojin went on to ask about why there was a Jesus and a God, but no mom. (These kids tend to relate family with a lot of things) I went on to explain a very basic timeline of how we sinned and God became incarnate- to die for us- because He loves us.
Miran started to talk about her family- how her family is broken, and that she wants her sisters to believe in Jesus.
Soojin shared that she never knew either of her parents. And that they're lousy for leaving her at such a young age. She then shared about her love for Jeenie umma (a dorm mom in this home), but how she wished she had a dad.
I went on and told her, "God is the best dad you will ever have. He's always with you, watching over you, and won't fail like a worldly father."
She smiled and said, "Then I have a mom AND a dad! God is my dad! I'm so lucky!"

I wanted to cry. God not only answered my prayer with one child, but with three.
"Your testimony is planting seeds in their souls. Your story is worth a child spending an eternity with me."

God is so faithful. He made sure that I knew them well enough and prepared them to take in the Gospel through me. And I know that these kids will still struggle with faith, live as if they don't know God, and even back-slide until who knows how long, but there is that divine security of knowing that there IS a God that loves them and has been with them even before they were born.

Sungyeon

Soojin

Miran

Sadly Moobie was asleep. HAHA

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Other than that, my last few weeks here consisted of back to back camps.

I can't say I got to know a lot of them, because they were mostly older and closed off. But I can say that they're way more comfortable around me- and that older girls are tough to work with. HA.

The first camp I went to was with the older guys! 

The youngins actin all cute

Hyojean; our soccer superstar

Jee- my rock and my greatest helper throughout my stay here; I do NOT know what I would have done without her. hahahahaha I'd probably be a bigger mess than I already am. 

One of many rounds of Mafia.. HAHAHA 

Korea's rivers are so refreshing and cool. Love it

I do not have any pictures from the girl's camp.... but it consisted of nonstop eating and Go-Stop. HAHAHAHAHA good times. 

So thankful for such a good Daddy.

Healing.

Throughout the past years, I've come to realize and become a testament of how far God's love can go in one's life. And that every time I was put through the fire, He was there- refining me, guiding me, and comforting me.

And God doesn't just heal pain in general- but every aspect of your pain. 

When I am hurting inside- when I'm feeling uncomfortable- when my faith is really put to the test- Yes, He's always been there. 

And most of the time, I've come to realize that God brings up different pains to light- He shows me my weaknesses- so that His strength can be made stronger. 

For so long, I thought that my life was something to be ashamed of. There was only brokenness, and other people's lives seemed so much better. 

There was nothing beautiful about my life; I lived this statement out as if it were really true.  

I constantly compared myself and my life to others around me- telling myself lies- that no one would truly understand. that I deserved this. that others deserved more favor than me. the self-hate was endless- and I'd really try my best to come off as confident, put together, and the same as everybody else. 

and I realized that the more I lived life like this, the more it seemed that God would show me,

"Yeah, your life IS a mess. This and that DID happen."

He'd show me parts of my past that hurt me, that set off bad memories, and times when I'd condemn myself. 

It wasn't until the summer of 2012 that He finished the statement He kept showing me

"Yeah, your life IS a mess. This and that DID happen. 

But I redeemed it all, and don't you ever call your life a mess, because I'm in it. I make all things new and I make your life beautiful."

I couldn't help but to break down and get on my knees. My heart and mind was renewed- the shame and comparisons- it seemed like a distant memory that I never wanted to go back to. 

He delivered me and gave me truth that I cannot forget. 

Coming here to Korea- I prayed for more healing- wasn't really sure in what aspect- but I knew that He'd give it to me. 

As I entered the home, my heart started to hurt once again. And these orphans, they carried a spirit of abandonment, saw themselves unworthy of love, and I thought that my heart hurt for them- when in actuality, my heart was hurting with them. 

I grew up with my grandparents, and as thankful as I was for them, I grew up thinking that I wasn't worthy of a father's love. both worldly and heavenly. There were times here and there when I'd see that God was an amazing father, but

 never was it made clear to me that He adopted me as His own- and that He accepted me just they way I was. 

Living here and seeing these kids grow, I realized that

God knows what's best for His children. 

No longer am I going to live thinking that life may have been better living with a "normal" family because God provided for me something better. 

"Look how far you've come my dear." 

is what He's been speaking over me throughout my time here. 

And I can't help but to think,

"Yes Lord. Thank You for being such a faithful Father."

God is good, all the time.

All the time, God is good. 

Psalm 68:5

It took me 3 days to finish this post. Not because it's long, but because I had to process what happened the last week. So bear with me, it's a bit jumbled.. excuse any grammar mistakes heh

I can't even start to explain to you how much I've been learning here; it's overwhelming.

But one thing that has been echoing in my head from day one is this: 

He is a Father to the Fatherless.

I see these children, and the more I get to know them- the more I realize,

"These kids were born to be loved."

Doesn't matter who they're loved by- as long as they are. and I say this because most of the time, they don't receive it from their parents. but they are loved by the people in this home, by me, Jimmy, and Charlie- and most importantly- God. 

The past week has been filled with chaos along with blessings, rain along with more rain, and frustration along with pure joy. 

It was the 6th annual soccer camp for 3rd-6th grade boys from different children homes in Seoul. 

and I must say... this was a special camp... on steroids... and OTNL.... 

Day 1; Monday July 22

We left the home in full faith that it wasn't going to rain. However, I woke up to see rain. and not just a sprinkling or a drizzle.. but a POURING. We packed our umbrellas and started walking.  Jimmy, Charlie, Esther, and I had to escort 11 MyeongJin kids to the US Army base (where the camp was going to be held); it takes about an hour and ten minutes to get there from our home- and we're taking the subway. Escorting the kids was probably the hardest thing about this camp- it was a test of my patience and strength- which was quickly wearing out. In my head, I'm just thinking- 

"UGH, these kids..................Imma go cray on them if they do *fill in the blank* one more time.."

"Lord, how am I gonna do this for three days- back and forth"

but in the end, we did not lose any kids and adults/elders were surprisingly kind to them- asking questions and laughing at what they were doing on the subway (playing games, etc.)

As we were walking to the base, we got SOAKED. You could hear the sloshing of rain water in our shoes and everyone's hair was drenched as if they just took a shower. 

A few asked, "How are we going to play in this rain?" 

First timers seemed discouraged and worried- while veterans were just getting pumped up- for they knew that for the past 5 years, even though we have soccer camp in monsoon season, God loves these children enough to keep it from raining. 

However, this year seemed a little different. THE RAIN WOULD NOT STOP. All volunteers and coaches were panicking- trying to figure out something else to do. From 9-10, we were able to get a hold of the rec center. Jee gathered the kids together- claiming in full faith that God wanted to hear the kids themselves pray. As she led them in prayer, within a matter of minutes- the rain COMPLETELY STOPPED. It wasn't gradual, it wasn't slowed down. It just stopped. 

At this point, I couldn't help but to think, 

God, not only do You love these children, but You long for them to talk to You directly. That intimacy and increase of faith that forms from direct prayers- from childlike faith- from orphans- from His precious children. 

I was a bit teary....hehe 

and for the rest of the day- it was beautiful weather- cloudy skies, sunny only for a couple minutes, and cool breezes. it was perfect! 

 my kids soaked from the rain 

Another thing. I think one of my favorite parts of this camp (I have to agree with Sky here) was seeing them change into their soccer uniforms. They transform not only into a soccer player- but into a confident child that is not known for their "issues" or past- but simply for who they were born be- a precious son! (that looks super fly in his uniform) You can just see the joy in their faces when they get their uniforms... it's something I'll never forget. Through donations and support, we were able to provide not only a full uniform (jersey, shorts, shin guards, and socks), but SHOES FOR EVERY SINGLE CHILD! The shoes were a first for the soccer camp- the kids were AMAZED. 

little SeungHyuk looking into the box of shoes

TRANS

FOR 

MA

TION

!!!!!!

Teams:

White- Real Madrid

Blue/Red- Barcelona

Royal Blue- Chelsea 

Red- Manchester United

I was in Manchester United!!!!!! and I love love love my team. 

Day 2 ; Tuesday July 23

We woke up to clear skies- PRAISE GOD!

until we got to the camp.... it started pouring once again. right away- we gathered the kids and told them to pray. They prayed in faith- yet the rain did not stop. 

We ended up just playing in the rain because there was no way we were going to let a little rain get in the way. It was an amazing time of practice in the rain- I was actually relieved to see that it was cold ( I can't do hot weather) 

One of the kids even said that maybe God gave us rain so we wouldn't be hot- but refreshed!! It was amazing to see God working and showing love in the littlest things!! 

 However, right before lunch- it started to POUR. We took everyone under the two small tents- and tried to keep the kids entertained. We waited for a good hour and a half to figure out what the gameplan was. It seemed as though they just had to eat and go home. We even got them to change back into their regular clothes. This was the most uncomfortable time of the camp- but I think this day was my favorite day. The kids ended up having a blast playing with and in the rain, and it was an amazing time to bond with different teams. 

God is so funny. Literally after the last kid finished his lunch, the downpour stopped. We ended up finishing the day with our usual time by doing the penalty kick off!! It was full of good laughs, loud cheers, and genuine encouragement. 

This is Haneul. He literally NEVER smiles. I think I've seen him smile about 10 times the whole camp. But his smile..... it makes my day every time. I grew a new love for him (he's from my home) and whenever I would see him throughout the camp- I'd try my best to get a smile out of him. 

Our team came in second place!!! 

LAST DAY! July 24

I woke up to hear the kids asking one another whether they prayed or not. 

"Did you pray last night?"

"Yeah, I prayed!!!"

Some kids didn't even bring their umbrellas. Once again, an INCREASE in faith. 

I even heard throughout the day- Hanbin said, " SEE! IT'S NOT RAINING BECAUSE I PRAYED!"

God has been faithful- and the last day's weather was exactly what we prayed for: No rain- clouds- and cool breezes. He delivered, and it was perfect. The kids had a BLAST, and I was blessed by my team. Even though we got 3rd place, there was no blame, no complaint, and no disappointment. We just had fun and loved one another- the teamwork was amazing- and the transformation you see from day 1 to now.... you can't deny that God moved. 

HyoJin... the star of this camp... that every girl volunteer fell in love with... HA!!! he aiite. 

MANNNUUUUU!!!

This is YoonGi. He had a shut down moment right before the last day of camp on the way to the subway station. It took him a good hour to get him to go to the camp. He tends to get filled with rage and hatred when things don't go his way. You can sense and see that there's a dark spirit in him when he has those moments. But I'm so glad he was able to go. LOOK AT THE JOY! Pray that he'll be transformed and renewed through the love he receives. especially from Charlie and Jimmy!! 

They came so insecure, so dark- and they left with full confidence, and pure joy.

This camp taught me that love makes an IMMENSE difference. in all things. not just in the kids but in all else. 

For those who read this far.. CONGRATULATIONS! I am honored :)

These photos are not mine- they were taken by the very talented Elysabeth Ratto!

Go read her online magazine. 

IT. IS. AMAZING. I stayed up until 2AM reading them last week.

GOGOGO. 

http://www.rewritemagazine.com/

Also, if you would like to see more about the ministry, like them on facebook!

like the photos and spread the word :)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jerusalem-Ministry/219318501489334

Also! Listen to Pastor Sky's message about the soccer camp!!

"I Am A Child Of God" Sky J Becker

and read Pastor JM's (founder of Jerusalem Ministry) blogpost on soccer camp!!

http://www.comequicklyministries.org/blog/2013-soccer-camp/

Sorry for not updating much... I had back to back camps (that I will be writing about later)

More to come!

His love is steadfast.

His love is life-changing. 

There is Hope in the Lord.

It's been a minute.
And a lot has been going on- more in my head than the children's home.


Honestly, the more I get to know these kids, the more my heart breaks. When I hear about their stories- I just can't imagine the brokenness inside of them.
-One child was adopted, and after a couple days, the "parents" had to return her because she "cried too much."
-A father called a taxi, put his son into the car, and sent him away saying that he doesn't ever want to see him again. The father didn't even leave the boy with his papers, so he can't even enroll into a school right now.
-Children are only aggressive because abuse is what they regularly see. This means that they were either abused, or saw violence within the home.
-Alcoholic mother- disabled child. You could only assume that she just didn't want to be held responsible for her own son.
-When people divorce in America, parents fight for their child. In Korea, the child becomes property and if it doesn't get settled, the child doesn't go with either parent.
You see these children and think, "Deep wounds that will never heal. Hopeless."
There are many cases like this.

but I see so much beauty and love inside of them. Their hearts have been tainted by neglect, abuse, broken promises, and never-ending discouragement. The children are known for their issues, not their name. Their sufferings, but not their name. These children have distorted identities- when they are actually called to be precious, beloved children of God.  

Everyday, my hope in the Lord is challenged.
"Lord, if You are for the widows and orphans, why aren't You bringing them back to their parents? "
"Lord, if You love these children, why did you give them parents that misrepresent the love of a heavenly Father?"
"Lord, will these kids ever feel or encounter You?"

And everyday, my hope is restored.
I've realized that a lot of these children are far better off here at MyeongJin, than wherever they came from. There may be times when the children want to go see their parents, but they're taken care of here.
Life with parents doen't always equate with a better life. It's not always something you need. and I can clearly see that God provided for these kids an amazing life. It is probably impossible to see it now, but these kids being here is a blessing. I see them laugh, fight, play, and live like a child who has "normal" parents.

Although these children may have a skewed view of true Fatherly love, I have faith that with the sown seeds, these children will have a far better understanding of God's love than anyone else.
After all, we were all orphans at one point of our lives.

God is so faithful- so gracious- it's more than sufficient. and He never fails to show me that. He hears and answers our prayers, and He sees these children as His sons and daughters.
If I love these children this much, I can't even imagine the love the Father has for them. It's so beautiful, so captivating, and it gives me peace and strength the face them- to rejoice for them, and to simply just love them more and more.

I can tell you that amazing things have been happening during my stay here. I've grown closer to my english class girls, I'm slowly getting to know the older girls (and boys), and everyday my love for these kids is expanding. Even dorm moms are opening up to me and sharing their experiences here in this home. God is so faithful, and He's been answering every prayer request that Jimmy, Charlie, and I have been praying for.

This is Sungyeon- and I have to admit.. she's one of my faves. :') She has this husky voice that sounds so cute......she has huge, really cute eyes that doesn't let me say no to her ever.. and even though she's insecure about her capability to learn English, she tries hard. 

This picture is a very bad panorama of Jimmy's birthday surprise party! hahahaha He is blessed, loved, and honored! 

First sleepover with my English class girls- watched movies all night and played games here and there. Now they always want to sleepover :)

shoutout to John Park!!! He visited New Philly AND he had the PRIVILEGE to visit the home :) I was a little worried that the kids wouldn't warm up to him, but they did! It showed that they trusted me, my judgement, and that they knew my friend would be a good person. Thanks for stopping by John! :) When he left... everyone asked if he was my boyfriend -_- Insitig8ors up in this home... 

Eunchong and HyungJung = <3

they love each other- they're a couple. so cute.

Please pray for this child: his name is Cheeyoung and he gets seizures at random times. The day I took these photos was the last day he'd be at the home. He's now in the hospital- getting watched over. Doctors are saying he won't even live up to age 10. I refuse to receive that because he will live to be an old man in Jesus name. Healing in the name of Jesus!

Yoongi drew these pictures of animals from engligh class. hahahaa so cute!

the guy on the right is MinJoon. Every tuesday and thursday, Jimmy, Charlie, and I speak in english for one hour. We have the funniest conversations. HAHAHAHA He's the same age as me! this was the first time he came into Jimmy and Charlie's room the play games. He is opening up to us!

Once again, Thank You Lord

the greatest father of all. 

Learning to Stop Striving.

There's something important that I learned this past week: Stop striving; with my strength I can do nothing, but with Christ, I can do all things.
It seems  so simple. such a given, but for the past few years, I've been yearning to grow deeper in the Lord, see breakthrough within my family, or for more healing from my past. and I've TRIED to pray harder, I've TRIED to do QTs longer, I've TRIED to do this, that, and all of the above and in the end- I did grow- but not the amount that I wanted to.
This striving seemed to really have manifested last week-as I TRIED so hard to get to know as many kids as I can, tried to teach the most fun class, tried this and that to stay focused- and in the end- I was just exhausted (causing me to nap any chance I can get which takes away time to get to build stronger relationships), discouraged, feeling inadequate, and thinking to myself "How am I going to do this for another month and a half?" I was really starting to worry, saying to myself "Lord, I guess I was never cut to do this."
Yet- you know it. God is forever faithful. and He gave me rest, encouragement, and revelation (through pastors and Jerusalem Ministry). Yes, I can have a yearning to grow in the Lord- see all these amazing things throughout my life- but it's only through His strength, mercy, and hand over me that allows me to experience Him to the fullest. It's a learning process- but this was something I really needed.

The past week seemed tougher than the first- I still couldn't stir up the courage to talk to the older girls, and because I was so tired- I would isolate myself whenever I found the time. I would see kids constantly discourage one another, babies getting sick, and the injustice that seems to run this place. These kids are so beautiful. I love them so much- and makes me sick to my stomach and extremely frustrated that the majority of their parents bring them here simply because they just didn't want to be held responsible for them. The lies of the enemy were ringing in my head, and at one point, I almost believed them. "Look at how mean that kid is- that's why s/he is here. Unlovable. These kids will never learn to love in a Godly way. These kids will never come to know Christ. You make no impact. These kids will forget you in no time once you leave."
I learned the importance of quality time with God- the Spirit can distinguish lies more easily when you know God is near. It's hard to explain my thoughts- but in the end- He never fails me. He sustains me. And His hand holds me. He is a faithful father- not only to me- but to these children. every single one of them.

Last week was hard- BUT! I believe that I'm making progress at my own God-given pace.

Every night, these boys come into Jimmy and Charlie's room, and we just watch TV or talk. Don't let this picture deceive you, the room is TINY. and there are 9-12 boys in that room everyday. HAHAHAA so hot...and stuffy...and sometimes they smell....It's amazing because Jimmy and Charlie never complain- in fact, it's an honor and blessing for them. The boys are so cute- so lovable- Jimmy and Charlie get it to easy! Boys swarm to them! HAHAHA 

These four little girls... dah I love them so much. (Left-right: Moobie, Sungyeon, Miran, and Soojin.) This is the class I teach English to, and I love their enthusiasm when they're learning. I took them out to Baskin Robins because they did so well last night. hehehe I even had a chance to buy ice cream and small talk with 2 of the older girls- Soojung and Hanbyeol. They seemed so flattered when the teacher that never talks to them knew their names... HAHA

Please pray- specifically for Soojin- her words are extremely harsh. She comes off as such a cold, mean, and tough little girl. but ONCE in a while, I see her smile or love on Jaehoon (the disabled child) and I just know she has a soft inside... she has a tough exterior, but she's so sweet. please pray that her words may be words of life and that she opens up. Same with all the other girls in the home!

Geunyoung in English class :) She got a pig on her head. Please pray that she'll stay focused and try her hardest in everything- she is easily discouraged and extremely territorial. more encouragement and confidence in love!

hehe. my favorite baby. Hoyeon.

Please pray for Eunchong. He has a very weak immune system and has been getting sick for the past 2 weeks. Healing in the name of Jesus! I learned this week that he is in this home because his mother is disabled and incapable of taking care of him. Please pray a prayer over her also. 

Keep me in your prayers!

Keep Jimmy and Charlie and the kids in your prayers!

There is Hope in the Lord.

Thank You Lord. 

Home Sweet Children's Home

I've come to the point where I grow anxious when I'm away from these kids or the home.

Time is going too fast. It's a strange cycle- the days feel so long, but it's going by too quickly.
and every time I see an unfamiliar face, my heart grows urgent to try to get to know as many children as I can. It seems as if everything in this home is a paradox. Children are opening up to me, but at the same time, I'm only getting to know the first floor. (There are 3 floors that have children of different ages and gender).
I think my biggest fear in coming to this home to take part of this ministry was to burn out.. and even worse, to show that I'm burnt out. I'm surrounded by dorm moms and administrators that are running on fumes- some aren't even believers, and it seems to be another reason on why there is only discouragement and hurt in this home. These children do not know how to speak life; they don't understand that words can kill the soul.
During my time here, I refuse to sink. I only want to be a source of joy and comfort to these children, and it's amazing to see that as long as I stay faithful, He's filling my tank everyday.
He never fails to give me strength- just enough for the day.

The days consisted of:
waking up around 6:30-7, breakfast, then I go downstairs to my little babies. heh
around 8:30, we walk the children to school and kiss them goodbye.
Jimmy, Charlie, and I do QTs for about an hour-hour/a half, and then relax.
We cook our own lunch everyday! because it's not provided. HAHA but it's a good time to fellowship and bond :)
then we relax a little more and around 4- we teach Jee-min and Geun-young.
then we watch the little babies until dinner.
after dinner, we teach a group of elementary boys.
then we teach another group of elementary girls.
then around 9- WE'RE DONE FOR THE DAY! not really.
but we get to hang out with the others and relax.

This schedule started ... today. HAHA
and it went well. These kids have the attention span of a goldfish... and they have no motivation to learn- maybe it's because they think they're incapable or they lack the drive that is usually taught from parents, but we've been praying for a yearning to learn. for them to know that they are MORE than capable of learning and retaining knowledge.
it's a process, but i know they'll see it in them somehow..someday. (that's a prayer request within itself)

This is Jae-Hoon. He's the disabled child from my past post- his smile makes me melt. :') He's happy even though he can't walk, sit up on his own, talk, or basically do anything independently. He always reminds me to be joyful for the little things- as cliche as that may sound- he finds joy in taking a bite of food, or having one of the other kids carry him, or even just giving him a smile- he never fails to smile back. I just know that God's heart burns for Jae-Hoon, and that His hands will always be over his life. So precious.

This is So-Yeon. She's the older sister of this kid:

You know it! Jee-Hool!! :) the aggressive child that I love so much.. HAHAH (he took my glasses- i told him to stop- he put them on- i told him his eyes will hurt- and he closed them right away) HAHA 

So-Yeon is just as aggressive. but speaking and acting in love makes such a clear difference in these kid's lives. 

This is Hee-Yeon. She is an answer to my prayers. SHE approached me first!! HAHAHAH I'm so stinkin' selfish. She is affectionate, kind, and has a cool husky voice. She told me her dad passed away when she was in 5th grade. I told her my story. After that, she only seemed to be more comfortable to me. She comes to my room every morning to keep me company before she leaves for school ( I walk her!). 

The baby boy is Ho-Yeon. He's the youngest one in the home- only 9 months old. He. is. thee. cutest. kid. ever. ALL HE DOES IS SMILE. I always ask "WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?" He always lifts his arms out for me to carry him. :) ahhhhhhh. I love him so much. He rarely cries too. I like dat. I wish I could adopt him...heh..

Look at Charlie (from Australia) holding hands with Seung-Hyuk.. hehe Jimmy and Charlie are like fathers to these kids... it's beautiful but heartbreaking at the same time. but I can clearly see that God is using them so mightily in the home. amazing

This is Moo-Bee. (cutest name ever) it took her a while to open up to me, but now she's all hugs and love. :) Such a sweetie. 

So much joy in this picture heh

There are three kids on me. It was hard. but I love em.

Hyun-Jung and Eun-chong. both needy and they cry a lot...but they're too cute and precious to stay frustrated with..

Please keep these children, myself, and Jimmy and Charlie in your prayers.

Jimmy, Charlie, and I are finally sharing our testimonies this week. Jimmy went today, and it was amazing. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! DEEP RELATIONSHIPS! God answers prayers. 

Soli Deo Gloria

Such a faithful Father.